Watching My Steps
I see you from the outside. Everything is put together so perfectly. Come round looking all smooth and sophisticated. Making me laugh and feel oh so good. I give way to all my doubts and say just one more time...
I blindly stepped into you like a shallow puddle. I knew the ground was just beneath, stable and reliable, because all I could see was the blackness that had to be the asphalt just below. I couldn’t even catch my breath as I fell straight thru, like Alice thru her looking glass.
Tumbling head over heels, totally disoriented, falling flat on my ass, even a euphoric descent comes to a sudden halt. Damn, glad I've got some cushion back there. I dust myself off and acquaint myself with the world to which I committed myself. Not the simple puddle I thought I was stepping onto...
Everything's inside out, upside down, purple is yellow and red is green. How in the hell did I do this again? Wasn’t I JUST here a moment ago? Did it not take me forever to find a tree tall enough to force me to choose? Jump with the rope or climb and pull yourself out...jump or climb jump or climb...give up or fight give up or fight...live or die live or die...
So here I am. My ass hurts from falling again. But I know the route this time...now where's the damn tree? How did I find it last time? Moss grows on the north side right? But here, is north south east or west? Up is down, in is out. Howww did I do this AGAIN?!?!?!?!
OK, breathe, in and out, in and out. Calm yourself and think. Center on what is important. What made you decide that survival was the only way last time. Aha, if there's darkness...there has to be light, or else there is no definition for dark, it is all the same. So, I have my focal point, and I know there is light. Got my mission, and it’s time to begin.
My mental check list is ready and already being whittled down. I'm not doin’ this again. I'm determined. Don’t get in my way, cuz I'm not even having it this time. I know the path, I recognize it, and I know the way. I have a good memory and I remember the stumbling blocks. You aren’t one of them anymore.
Yup here's my tree. Rip down the vines and make my rope. Better stronger longer. Betcha it’s coming with me this time. Tying it to a light post before I step on the next puddle! One foot at a time...my muscles are still strong from the last climb so it’s going much faster now...
The top is in sight, and I've got no questions as to whether I'm gonna make it this time. I know I will cuz I did before. Can’t wait til this climb is over. Maybe this time I'll wait til the sun dries up all the puddles...so I can see the pot holes ahead of time...but I’m still bringing my rope with me!
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