Watching My Steps

This one...its helped in the past. Helped me as well as some of my friends. Now I repost in hopes of helping more :)

Watching My Steps

I see you from the outside. Everything is put together so perfectly. Come round looking all smooth and sophisticated. Making me laugh and feel oh so good. I give way to all my doubts and say just one more time...

I blindly stepped into you like a shallow puddle. I knew the ground was just beneath, stable and reliable, because all I could see was the blackness that had to be the asphalt just below. I couldn’t even catch my breath as I fell straight thru, like Alice thru her looking glass.

Tumbling head over heels, totally disoriented, falling flat on my ass, even a euphoric descent comes to a sudden halt. Damn, glad I've got some cushion back there. I dust myself off and acquaint myself with the world to which I committed myself. Not the simple puddle I thought I was stepping onto...

Everything's inside out, upside down, purple is yellow and red is green. How in the hell did I do this again? Wasn’t I JUST here a moment ago? Did it not take me forever to find a tree tall enough to force me to choose? Jump with the rope or climb and pull yourself out...jump or climb jump or climb...give up or fight give up or fight...live or die live or die...

So here I am. My ass hurts from falling again. But I know the route this time...now where's the damn tree? How did I find it last time? Moss grows on the north side right? But here, is north south east or west? Up is down, in is out. Howww did I do this AGAIN?!?!?!?!

OK, breathe, in and out, in and out. Calm yourself and think. Center on what is important. What made you decide that survival was the only way last time. Aha, if there's darkness...there has to be light, or else there is no definition for dark, it is all the same. So, I have my focal point, and I know there is light. Got my mission, and it’s time to begin.

My mental check list is ready and already being whittled down. I'm not doin’ this again. I'm determined. Don’t get in my way, cuz I'm not even having it this time. I know the path, I recognize it, and I know the way. I have a good memory and I remember the stumbling blocks. You aren’t one of them anymore.

Yup here's my tree. Rip down the vines and make my rope. Better stronger longer. Betcha it’s coming with me this time. Tying it to a light post before I step on the next puddle! One foot at a time...my muscles are still strong from the last climb so it’s going much faster now...

The top is in sight, and I've got no questions as to whether I'm gonna make it this time. I know I will cuz I did before. Can’t wait til this climb is over. Maybe this time I'll wait til the sun dries up all the puddles...so I can see the pot holes ahead of time...but I’m still bringing my rope with me!

Copyright 2008 Natasha Guy

Productive day!

Today I did 2.5 hrs of writing on my novel so I'm not sure that I'll do more writing here tonite. I'm trying to do 3 hrs of writing/development a day on the novel.

Birthed from Labored Boredom (haikus until I run out)

He got me started
Haikus until I run out
Hah! Look what he did!

You just imploded

A black hole has now been birthed

Don't get stuck on me!

All drama I see

Social Impropriety

Time for you to *poof*

I can only be

Who I believe I can be

I, am only ME.

Scrambling to get far

No longer wishing on your

Favorite shining star.

Don't follow me now
When you insist that I'm blind
Go find your own way.
My bubble is made

RubberMaid tough can't you see?

Visible to me!

Step into the light

Even though you shine in dark

You carry my dreams.

I'm playing it now

That favorite tune that He likes

Dance with me Baby:)

I've given my heart

With Him it resides in whole

Please don't shatter it.

Copyright 2009 Natasha Guy

New on the block!

Lemme get in and twerk just a bit
Squat with it, twist with it,
Flip it, lemme hit.

I flew in from the side
Don't be scared, you aint gotta hide,
But I need you to move over, cuz a sistah's kinda wide.

Now I'm here in my place,
and I'm all up in your face
Just respond to me quick, come on keep up with the pace.

I'm changing it up but its still worth your while,
Just sit back and chill, so you can soak up my style.

Copyright 2009 Natasha Guy

This one was heart felt...for alot of my friends.

In Your Own Way

Thru the eye, how are things perceived?

From just that line of sight can real beauty be achieved?

Should it be sought after like a treasure of pure gold?

Or is it more like the legend of Ft Knox? An unknown that we will never behold?

Be it an idea in our heads just like a picture

What I choose to believe is that it’s like a mixture.

A little bit of this and add a sprinkle of that

Sit down just a minute so we can have a quick chat.

Now he wants to know about you in 20 words or less

With these ramifications can you let him see your best?

How much of you can you hand to him this way?

If you don’t know about you, why should he go out of his way?

He says, "I'm not saying you aren’t worth the discovery or the time

I'm just asking shouldn’t you invest yours before asking me to spend mine?

From the little that I do see, you appear to be a gem

But tell me are you capable of allowing me deeper than him?

“Him being the boy in men's clothing that you last let in.

The one that came and played around and made you sour for other men.

I see you say you've lived and learned, vowing to guard yourself well

But why should I expose all of me while you’re hiding in your shell?

"Just because I am a man doesn’t mean i have no fear,

It just means I'll let you know what it takes to keep me here

I hear all the time that women want and need a real man

Now that I'm here, tell me how much of me you understand?

“Do you know that I too crave love and respect?

Am I not worth you looking your best and coming correct?

How about you make sure I know how much I mean to you

Before flying off at the mouth, why don’t you sit back and see what I can do?

“Please don’t assume you know me or assign me to a certain type

Don’t go by what your single girlfriends tell you, don’t believe the hype.

I can be all about you girl, because I like what I see

But when you turn to your girls it grows beyond you and me

“If I wanted to date your friends, if I was into what they do

Then I wouldn’t have stepped to them asking all about you.

I don’t want to hear that they're your girls and your peeps

Look at what I'm offering, I'm playing for keeps.”

Now you look at him thinkin’ this man has got to be trippin’

He looks and smells good, but maybe he’s just into pimpin’

Already you’ve pegged this confident man

Grouping him with those merely playing their hand.

He shakes his head seeing the fear taking over your mind

Says thank you ma’am for time, you’ve been extremely kind

He collects his swagger, his truth that he laid at your feet

He gets up and walks on to find the woman ready to meet

The man that stepped out of her dreams.

Copyright 2009 Natasha Guy

Some old stuff

Open Your Eyes

Rise above the temptations to delve deep into your imaginations

See things for what they are, when they are, how they are

Don't begin to create ideals in order to dissipate

Everything and everyone around you.

Take it for what it is, when it is, and why it is

Dont search just to destroy

Soar above the expectations that others have given you

Find your own motivations and use them to enjoy

Life is too hard, too much, too full

To go around finding other things to complicate and add to your confusion

If you have time to go through all your troubles and fix them

Go back you missed everything because you havent begun to live in

Take your time and ease into it

Pace yourself dont rush and miss it all

Step by step day by day

Look at the beauty, turmoil too just dont be appalled

Know that this is life

Constantly changing, whirling, dealing

Search to define yourself, for yourself, by yourself

Give yourself that deeper meaning

Copyright 2007 Natasha Guy

Everyone Who Passes Thru

Everyone Who Passes Thru

Dum Dum Da Dum Dum…Boom Boom, the doorbell rings, or the familiar creak of the door tells me someone is at the door of my home. The beat of the knock, “Hah, I know who that is,” I think, as I smile on the way to the cherry wood door. The chimes echoing thru my halls, they make me roll my eyes at the thought of another salesman or random religious representative plastering their plastic smiles at me thru the door chain that I refuse to unleash. The squeaky hinges warm my heart as I await a piece of my heritage or ancestry, a piece of my heart, to find me in my favorite resting place. Each day someone passes thru the door, or is refused entry. Who I allow in my door is always up to me and only me. The consequences of the acquaintances are the result of my decisions. Sometimes a total demolition can result from that familiar loose floor board. I’ve even seen a few doorbells transform over time to become a recognizable footfall.

The entrance is just the beginning. There are also living rooms, the dining rooms, the bedrooms and kitchens. As time passes, so do people. They come and they go, some leave permanent marks, others can be swept away as easily as the daily dust. Some, they aren’t gone long enough to make a reminder necessary; they, themselves, are somewhat of a fixture in my abode. After years of dwelling within my walls, nothing is left as new and perfect as it was when it first entered in, including me. I’ve stubbed toes, knocked shins and pinched fingers in almost every room. My favorite spot on the couch reveals the impression of my butt, hatch marks in the hall bear witness to my children’s growth and my fridge has a small dent where my hip bounced the door closed with strength more than necessary. I influence my house just as it influences me. Bumps and bruises, nicks and scratches…they are all a part of time and life.

Life is similar to the description of my house. New comers are like furniture that you may want to keep or may want to pass. Some furniture you pass on to be a family heirloom or antique. Other pieces are tossed when the wood splits, springs poke thru or glass cracks. Sometimes it is so much easier to dump the broken piece and start again than to deal with the upkeep. Sometimes, we can’t handle the eyesore, but we don’t want to get rid of the piece either. So we store it in the garage or attic, not willing to let go, even when it doesn’t serve a purpose anymore.

Well this is a call to clean out your attics, garages, or basements. It’s not easy. But, clutter can make it easy for rats and other pests to hide in plain sight. Be about rising above social pollution and clutter. Let’s see thru clearer air, hear clearer door bells, and be able to walk thru the halls of our lives with the greatest of ease.

Copyright 2009 Natasha Guy

When Will You LISTEN?

When Will You LISTEN?

When I stand alone hands raised and open my mouth wide towards the heavens can you hear my cry?

Or am I as noiseless as a tree that falls in the forest with no one around?

With my hand on the mic and my lips moving a mile a minute with thousands of fans screaming my name,

Have you heard a word that I’ve said or is it all white noise that fills the Ipod Nano in your hand?

Have you given thought to the text that flows from my lips reading the prose that pours from my very heart?

Or are you simply here in the supportive fashion that parental and guiding sources assume is the correct position?

When I fly thru the door with an AK47 in my hand bellowing for even two seconds at the other end of your ear, that one opposite your brain,

Do you recognize the pain in my voice that emanates from deep within the heart that once loved you?

What will happen when the last tree falls and the forest is gone? Will you hear me then? Or will you just make more paper?

When the last fan is gone and I’m still standing, mic in my hand looking at empty seats…will you look at the lyrics etched in the jacket of my newest CD then? Or will you add it to the bargain bin?

When my heart has turned to stone because I’ve poured it all out in search of a true listener…will you ask and wonder what happened to me? Even though I painted a picture book and map to show you the way and you witnessed the tragedy as it unfolded?

As you pry the deadly assault weapon from my lifeless hands, hands that took their lives and mine. Then will you ask what was it that I always said?

Just for once I wish you would have listened.

I may as well have my lips surgically removed and my gums laced together with my jaws wired shut, because then thru my silence you may hear my cry. My silence is more deafening than the loudest calamity that’s flown thru the earth’s atmosphere in search of your ears.

Copyright 2009 Natasha Guy