Tuesday, September 28, 2010

More new stuff!

My Excuses
I’m mixed.
My father was black.
My mother is white.
I am the shade of gray
That I am.

I was an only child
Raised by a single mom
Until I became
The stepdaughter
That I am

I was an A student.
I hid in my studies
And pretended to be
A false portrayal of the person
That I am.

I was a victim of abuse.
Whatever people conclude from that
Rarely projects the image
Of the present aware being
That I am.

I was a fat kid.
I’m still a fat adult.
Folks call it fluffy, thick, chubby.
I call it fat and I know
That I am.

I was an unwed mother
Who became a married mother
Who became a divorced mother.
At this point, I’m happy
That I am.

I am disabled.
The tumor in my brain
Creates havoc that kills some.
I’m still living and glad
That I am.

Above all, I still worship
A God whose name is above all others
And He has always told me,
“No matter who you need, I am
THAT I am.”

So all of this
And none of this
Is exactly why
I am the way
That I am.

Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy

New stuff!

Factual Fiction

We laid in bed together
And I loved him.
We spent time together
And I loved him.
We had dinner dates
And I loved him.
I dreamed about our future.

Through the hard times with his kids
I still loved him.
When his baby mama wasn’t actin’ right
I still loved him.
Even if we fussed and fought
I still loved him.
And I dreamt about our future.

For a year, I went on dreaming
And all the while I loved him.
For a year, he was my man
And all the while I loved him.
For a year he whispered sweet nothings
And all the while I loved him.
And I would dream about our future.

I know now that I was loving a kept man.
Your lover, husband, and your best friend.
I know now that he cheated on you with me.
But since you were hidden, I only had future thoughts of we.
See I didn’t know that baby mama was wife.
I never knew that our vacations were causing y’all strife.
I know you’re upset cuz I helped him cheat on you.
But see, I thought that our love really was true.
So, I know now that y’all are married, true,
But I feel like he cheated on me too!
And yes I am definitely gone; I’m through.
But my heat has yet to really leave ole dude.

So yeah, to you, I’m the other woman,
The mistress on the creep.
But to me you are the one that plunged
A knife in MY heart deep.
Now, had I been your girl or your fam,
That would have been another story.
But I’m already carrying your stepchild
And I don’t need to go on Maury.

Now if you choose to keep him around,
Don’t worry, I don’t do drama.
But I’m letting you know up front,
In four months I’ll be the baby mama.
From now on when you see the stub from his paycheck,
Expect to see that deduction, cuz this child will collect.

Soon you may look back and realize,
That we both thought we were number one.
And other than that little reminder,
I guess my letter to you is done.

To: Wifey
From: The Side Piece

Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy




Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy



Monday, September 27, 2010

Few Thoughts On God *gasp*

I know, I know, I rarely do the "religion thing," but I've got some things I wanna say and it's my blog...so yeah =) LOL. I originally titled this "Who Is Your God?" however, I think that is a question you may want to ask yourself...it's not really my biz! Without further delay, on to the thoughts!

A friend of mine, whom I love dearly, startled me recently. We sat on the phone discussing the events since we last spoke. We laughed, joked, and listened with our hearts. I love him and have always wanted the best for him...for him to have peace and contentment. Towards the end of our conversation, he reluctantly added something to our catch-up session. He slowly revealed, "I don't think I believe in God anymore." After recovering from the severity of his proclamation, I asked why. His complicated answer, in general terms, was because God, as he knew Him, doesn't accept him.

Since this conversation happened just over a week ago, obviously I am still somewhat disturbed. It's not necessarily his statement that bothers me so much, but the state of affairs that led him to make it. It irritates my inner core to know and view what passes for "Christianity" these days. Now, before I go in any deeper, of course I've been aggravated by the whole "Bishop Eddie Long issue." So, I'm sure that has colored my beliefs and ideas a little brighter than before, but at best, the situation only enhanced my previously formed views. *waits for you to ask, "What are those views?"* Well, I'm glad you asked!

Going back to my friend's statement, paraphrased: "I don't believe in "God" because "God" wouldn't accept me." So many alarms go off when I hear things like this. Now, because my beliefs are my own and shaped by my own life, they are not up for debate. No one has to agree with me. Just because you don't believe, doesn't mean it isn't true for me. Likewise, just because I don't subscribe to your truth, doesn't make it less true for you either. However, I digress to my original train of thought. I believe that religion consists of the rules that set boundaries for our personal spirituality, aka personal relationship and/or beliefs concerning God. Very frequently, when discussing religion/spirituality, one will hear me saying, "I am not religious, but I am spiritual." Now, this is not how I was raised to believe, but it is how me and my God make our relationship work.

It's part of growing up and maturing in your spiritual walk. You see, the rejecting God of which my friend spoke, was the God of his peers, family and his youth. That God was the one he was told about versus the God he had experienced and with whom he had formed a relationship. I surmised that he was, "Throwing out the baby with the bathwater." I guess, I have a different thought process from the "typical Christian." From what I've read, interpreted, and studied, even God supports free will. He may not agree with the decision you make, but He supports your right to make it. My great commission is to spread the gospel, not to force feed misguided ideas and bondage to reluctant and fearful innocents. I think that the key is being able to say, "I don't know, but I know what worked for me." It's as simple as that; share knowledge, don't enlist followers.

With God as a father figure, we are viewed as His children. How many of us relate to our parents the exact same way our brothers and/or sisters do? How many of us have identical relationships with all of our children? The point is just that; we don't! The dynamics of every relationship is based upon the two beings within it. Since no two beings are the same, no relationship is the same. I apply the same train of thought to the individual relationships that exist between ourselves and God. It severely outrages me that anyone would look at someone else's relationship with his or her own personal God and deem it invalid. Obviously, I'm truly irritated that anyone would have the audacity to dictate and micro-manage someone else's spiritual life.

I'm not one-sided about this either. Some of us give that role to others, thus relinquishing our personal connections with God to a spiritual leader for management. We then, forfeit the direct relationship with God for a subordinate relationship with a fellow human. If and when that happens, it creates a situation where that human then assumes a God-like position in our life while still having human fallibilities. Stuff like that causes problems seen in the allegations concerning Bishop Eddie Long.

All this to say, your relationship with your God is just that, YOURS! There's nothing wrong with spiritual guidance and, in fact, I encourage it. Just remember that in the end, it's guidance from someone else's play book and sometimes you need a few secret plays of your own. As always, I leave you with things to think about: your relationship, or lack thereof, with your God; accepting self so that you can be honest with God; and finally, the closer you get to God the closer you are to grasping immortal love.


Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy

Saturday, September 25, 2010

New Little Ditties

~~Like flint rocks
We strike each other with purpose
Creating the sparks
That ignite eternal flames
~~Dreams as fine as silk
Stored away out of reach
You took them and made a gown
Now it’s like my second skin
~~Withered relationships
Made fertile ground
For growth, necessary
To bear the fruit
That provides nourishment for him
~~No need to wish on airplanes
No need to wish on gasses aflame
My prayers have already been answered
~~If I had a magic lamp
I’d rub it & ask for an immortal Love
Since I’ve already got u
I dont want too much of a good thing
Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy

Thoughts on Love

These are just a few more thoughts on this thing we call Love:

Learn to Love with no expectations. Don't Love for what you get out of it, or what you may get back in return. Love so that he or she knows without a doubt that, at one point, he/she has been loved! Don't always expect Love to come to you from the same place you planted it. Love is cyclical, however not always direct!

Are you a Loving person? Then start with giving Love to yourself as much as you will ever need. That way, if you don't feel that Love is coming your way, your Love level will be continually full. Don't base the Love of self, on how much Love others shovel your way. You want to expect Love from someone else, but don't expect from him or her what you do not expect of yourself! Self Love, then spread it! Do not give away what you cannot afford to lose!

So many times I hear, "But I NEED him/her." How much better would it feel to know that the person who Loves you, Loves you because they CHOOSE to and not out of necessity? I personally do not want that kind of Love. I want to receive Love because someone cares enough about me to make sure that I know I am Loved, not because they need my Love in return! Until I reach that place, I have all the Love that I need when I look into the mirror!


Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy

Friday, September 3, 2010

Way Back When

When I was a new poet,
I was a poet and didn’t know it.
It’s not that the words didn’t come from my heart,
I just look back now and see I had a rough start.

When I was a black poet,
I was proud and let everyone know it!
I wrote in slang with one fist in the air,
I was abrasive and took on every glare.

When I was a female poet,
I wrote in pheromones and boy did all the men know it!
It was like the words dripped from my hips,
And I had honey suckled seductive lips.

When I was a bright skinned poet,
My skin tone didn’t define me and I let everyone know it!
The color of my skin was just a peek
At who I was; strong, yet meek.

But now, I have evolved into THAT poet!
The poet you know as Mistress Gem or RzrTonguedPoet.
The one that smiles with a soft voice, while ripping a subject to shreds.
I am the evolving poet turning heads.


I am THAT poet.
The one that is humble,
Yet knows her worth;
And doesn’t mind her bare toes touching the earth.

I am THAT poet.
That still uses strong verbage and voice.
From time to time I take a revolutionary stand,
And try to educate; get others to understand.

All in all this is just another piece.
For whomever to hear while passing by on the streets.
Because whether you really hear me or not,
You took my words in, and I gave you what you got!

Copyright ©2010 Natasha Guy