Thursday, July 26, 2012

Clogged Filters

They say when you can’t find the words, someone else has already uttered them somewhere…usually in a song. When communication gets rough and you can’t get past your own emotions to hear what someone is saying, ask him/her to put it all in a song. Many times, a song will reach that guarded place and explode within the brick walls built for protection. When that happens, you feel it. Whether you are fighting the feeling or not; whether you’ll ever admit to it or not, you know exactly what he/she is feeling when you hear that song.

So many filters exist between your heart and your mouth. They stem from the brain, past hurts, scar tissue, millions of different origins, but they all reside right there, between your heart and mouth. That’s why someone else’s unfiltered words are needed sometimes; to say what you want to say, but what your filters won’t let pass. If you love someone and are afraid to say it, afraid of rejection…then that little song that you play and think of them will do just fine. Send the file to their phone or their email. Tweet it at them, post it on their FaceBook wall, hell, call and leave it on the voice mail if you have to. But don’t run or hide from what you feel. Don’t let fear or pride stand in the way of what you really want.
Above all, let honesty sit out there and plead your case. Whether you want someone to understand how much you love them, or how much they hurt you, or how angry you are…put it out there. Nothing can change if you never say anything about the problem. And it will continue to be a problem, but only for you, if you keep it hidden in the shadows. But beware, once you put it out there, you probably won’t be able to sweep it back under the rug. At the very least, there will be a very large and overbearing elephant in the room. Once the tiger is out of the cage, tame it. Talk about it reasonably and actively listen to responses without being defensive.

Is any of that easy? Hell no! Is any of that possible? Absolutely! It takes courage and it takes love. It takes wanting to change things for the better. The better may not be your intended, expected, or desired outcome, but things will change. Change is rarely easy, but it doesn’t always have to be traumatic. That being said; go out and live and love, staring it all in the face with a brave countenance.

Copyright © 2011 Natasha Guy

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