Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Years Part II

Ok...dont think I need to say much more on this topic other than the pieces that I post. Meeting someone is easy, its the after that can make a cloudy day. So this would have to be about dragging abggage with you and learning how to leave it on the side of the road on your way into something new. Good luck on everyone's New Year's journeys. This is a long post with a few pieces...I couldn't choose, so I posted all the ones I liked :)
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When I See “Him”
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I want you.
Every inch of you.
From the top of your head
To your soul.
Yes, I want your heart.
I want your thoughts.
I want your hips
So I can wrap my legs
And…wait, not yet.
I want your trust.
I want your hopes
I want to be your future.
I want it all.
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I’m asking for a lot, I know.
But, I’ve never meant this
More, than when I say it to you.
I’m willing to give you
All of that.
I will offer you everything I want.
I can’t lose you to fear.
Not my own anyway.
If I’m willing to walk through fire,
Certainly I can jump the hurdle of fear.
I hope it’s not too late for us to achieve,
That my instability hasn’t cause irreparable damage.
It would be suicide to a little part of me
Never able to revive, if I let you be
Linked to someone other than me
In the only way I that I can see
You and I.
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You may, at one time, wonder what I see
In you when I look at you that way.
I see the most amazing man…ever.
Your determination rivals that of the gods.
You are the stuff of which legends are made.
In silence, you are a pillar of strength.
The strong silent type with a smirk.
It lets me know that your silence isn’t idle.
Even your saunter has an obvious purpose.
The drive I’ve seen in your eyes tells me
Success is not an option in your future.
And trust, that’s not all I see.
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I see the hand that caresses my body
Into multiple levels of happiness.
I see kissable lips that encase a smile
That wakens the sun daily
Sending it in my direction.
I see the arms that welcome me.
They say goodbye and support me too.
They hold me still when it’s for my own good.
I see eyes that I hope our child has,
Full of care, purpose and fire.
I see a man, Lord help me, that raises my temp.
If…no WHEN, we get to our destination,
The city may never see snow again
The way you ignite all that’s within me.
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I could go on forever painting a picture with words
But I’m being slightly selfish this time.
I don’t want to share with others all that is mine.
Well, all that I want to be mine,
All that I see when I’m in bed next to you
And I open my eyes to the rising sun.
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Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy


Uncertainty
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I can’t feel you just yet
But give me a few minutes to get my feet wet.
I need to wade into your shallow pools before I dive in
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I am aware of my impulsive nature stretching logic thin
It’s just dying to see how you feel deep under my skin.
Your desire seems as hungry as mine and I can tell it’s almost time
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The way my wind blows will make your metals chime.
It can give rise to your flames, making consummation sublime.
I’m a little hesitant though, so I take a few steps back
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My retreat seems to give you even more reason to attack
Although you plunder my village, I never feel lack.
The sudden onslaught doesn’t give me much time to adjust
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Now that I’ve given into you a little more I must
Continue to give as much as possible, because I may bust.
That which I tried to hold onto yearns for you
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Something tells me this is what I’ve wished for, something new
I’m not sure how to react, don’t know exactly what to do.
Taking your hand leads me to depths that I’ve never known
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The way you cover me makes me feel like I’m one of your own
I’m pretty sure if you loved me, I’d never again feel alone.
Your qualities suggest to me that sometimes it’s ok to lean
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I don’t want to be over zealous and confuse things between
You and I to be something that only I’ve seen.
I’ve been down that road before and it’s not usually kind
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I know that on many issues we can be of the same mind
But it’s the lines where we differ that I want to see behind.
The only reason it scares me is because I know this could be it
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You could be the “him” that was written into my script
My wait could be over if you’re truly to be my perfect fit.
I fall so hard at times; I’m hoping this once I won’t need air bags
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With you I feel secure and my usual sense of fear lags
For the first time, I’m ok to be on a limp and even if it sags.
I know we can survive, please don’t let go of my hand.
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Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy
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That Thing You Do
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I think I’m falling for you
Down under
Where the light and dark swirl
To make melodies
No one’s heard, touched, felt before.
Your warm touch breaks the smoothness of my skin,
Echoing in rivets across the surface like a
Sound wave shot into the timeline,
Disrupting the normal surroundings.
Beginning with the hole from the bullet,
Folding the neighboring solids like leaflets.
Your breath on my neck, as welcoming as it is,
Could wake the soundest sleeping babe.
It floats within me and causes my blood to mobilize,
Inhabiting my body as if it were a phantasm;
Soliciting uncontrollable bending to your will;
Enchanting complete and willful compliance.
Yeah…what you do to me should be illegal
In all 50 states, Puerto Rico and Guam
Mmhm…all of that my love, every bit of it.
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Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy
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Running Shoes
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Hot tears roll down my cheeks.
I’m not prepared for any of this.
Normally you study the course.
This one I have to learn as I run.
I’m mentally exhausted at the thought.
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When on a previously charted course,
I can plan escape routes; I can know security.
My anxieties are turned up high,
I’m lacing up my shoes and double knotting,
I’m ready to run…into your arms?
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I have to let my mind wander,
If I choose to go the course.
I don’t want to not stay the course.
Yet, I’m scared of committing to it.
Maybe you’ll be my running partner.
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I hate the maybes, the unknowns, limbo.
Two sides of one flat coin, no in between.
I’m frustrated with the lack of description,
I’m not ready to be defined either.
My stamina and endurance are on high too
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I’m a living shade of gray,
Existing in a black and white world.
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Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy


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Unstable
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I’m trying not to do what I always do.
Because you asked me not to.
Because I don’t want to.
Because I like you.
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I don’t know how to organize with emotions intact.
My typical process is worthless with you and I.
Normally, I pull back, so I can analyze without feeling.
I don’t want to cause you pain, the pain I saw.
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I cringed inside and my heart weakened when that look emerged.
It’s not just giving you trust, it’s becoming vulnerable,
Merely sharing that feeling makes me feel super weak and helpless.
Is that how you felt when you bore your soul to me?
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I feel like I should apologize for retreating to my solitude.
People truly frighten me, especially you, because you’re inside.
I’m uncomfortable with how comfortable I am with you.
You’re in between my layers, but I have no middle.
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I don’t know what to do with you.
I guess I’ll just have to love you.
Where we are.
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Copyright © 2010 Natasha Guy

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