Necessities and Desires
My looks of concern and longing
Were mistaken for sadness and gloom.
Being crystal clear only works
If you speak the same language.
I longed to be included,
Not held at bay with the rest.
I was careful not to push and demand a place,
But let you come to me; even though, you never did.
Then, I became an obligation to fulfill;
Another entity on a checklist to complete.
Things were scheduled simply to keep me pacified.
I was no longer assigned emotions, but a time slot.
But I digress again to my main point.
Communication was gone and cast aside.
I tried to compensate and make excuses
To hide the growing pain within.
All I wanted, not needed, but wanted
Was a little reassurance that you felt
A little of what I did, do, always have.
It used to be there in your smile.
But the smiles, texts and emails are gone.
Because you just weren’t that into me.
I can’t say you didn’t care last year,
But we both know you can’t live for the past.
On your end, no one knew I existed.
I was the dirty little secret you kept
Secluded to dark streets, misty windows
And whispers of naughty thoughts in your head.
My end was tied up in hopes of fictional futures.
Everyone knew, but thought you were a figment
Of my imaginative hopes and dreams.
Not too good to be true, just nonexistent.
I look back and realize that, once again,
I was the side chick to something more important,
Rather than an addition to anything.
I was yet another complication with which to deal.
I saw the signs growing towards a dreadful fate,
Yet I held onto the slim chances that Love would win.
The Love that was shared and that which remains,
It still stands strong and refuses to fade.
You see, the Love is okay with existing on its own.
The Love doesn’t need to be a want or a need.
Love, in its purest form can stand strong and alone.
And yet and still, I am not Love; I just cling to it.
You didn’t need me,
I didn’t need you,
But in the end, all I wanted
Was to be wanted by Love.
Copyright
©2010 Natasha Guy
