Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
A November Writing Challenge
You, Me, Us, We
As soon as I heard “inspiration” I knew it had to be about you,
But then something incredible happened; something I never imagined;
I suddenly realized that it has stopped being about you.
It’s no longer about you, but I'm not sure when it even stopped.
Now, I’m finally allowing myself to let it be about me.
At last, I am the main character in my own play.
Hell, I’m barely looking to see if you’re in the audience these days.
Is your seat vacant? Where was the seat? I’m not even paying attention anymore.
This is monumental for me, because you’ve been my everything for so long,
And now, it’s me. It’s the mirror that inspires me. It’s the mirror that says I can.
I now look within and remind myself of all I’ve already accomplished…
And all without you, you’ve been in my corner, but you’ve not been HERE.
I am having the time of my life just learning to live on my own again.
I’m regaining the strength I once had to do everything I wanted.
I don’t check with myself to see IF I can do it; I just schedule a time to succeed.
I don’t echo your plan for me back to you. I inform you of my decisions. It’s different.
I was a caterpillar for so long and you were my protective cocoon.
I almost died inside the hard shell you built around me to keep me safe from the world.
You did it for my own good while I struggled against you and pushed
And, for a time, I left you, hollow, discarded, and broken, waving in the wind.
I stretched out my wings without thinking about the carnage though.
I found the sunniest spot and I struggled and pushed and persevered.
Had you not held me so tight, I would have never wanted to escape the confines
Of you. Warm, suffocating, holding me securely and killing me all at once.
Leaving you was the beginning of my whole new world, my rebirth so to speak.
It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do that I did by my choice alone.
Leaving your protection, your safety, your arms, your heart…you.
And the way I miss all of that, the severity with which I miss it, is soul snatching.
My body reacts without my permission when I think about where I came from.
My eyes swell with tears that spring from various fountains within me: pride, pain, joy.
My chest heaves up and down as if my heart is threatening to find you without me.
My muscles tense and harden just wishing they could feel your hands on my skin again.
And my thoughts always refocus on one thing: I had to be strong for the both of us.
I did it for us. That thing you attempted, but could never seem to commit to just for you.
I couldn’t let myself die there, with you surrounding me for my own “good”, any more than
I wanted to kill you by letting you try to build a house in which neither of us would flourish.
When I look back on all of it. All of the love I unfairly demanded from you, but wouldn’t accept;
All of the love I threw at you, that I unknowingly smothered you with, that you reluctantly resisted;
All of the ways we pushed and pulled each other, trying to create enough distance for growth;
All of the passion that was always just beneath the surface of every exhausting interaction…
Damn it, my passion is still you, but it’s different now. You are a want and not a need.
Of course I can grow, thrive, survive, and even enjoy life without you by my side.
And I guess this piece is still somewhat about you, but it’s even more about me, because
At this moment, you are only in it because I choose to let you share my gaze.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
As soon as I heard “inspiration” I knew it had to be about you,
But then something incredible happened; something I never imagined;
I suddenly realized that it has stopped being about you.
It’s no longer about you, but I'm not sure when it even stopped.
Now, I’m finally allowing myself to let it be about me.
At last, I am the main character in my own play.
Hell, I’m barely looking to see if you’re in the audience these days.
Is your seat vacant? Where was the seat? I’m not even paying attention anymore.
This is monumental for me, because you’ve been my everything for so long,
And now, it’s me. It’s the mirror that inspires me. It’s the mirror that says I can.
I now look within and remind myself of all I’ve already accomplished…
And all without you, you’ve been in my corner, but you’ve not been HERE.
I am having the time of my life just learning to live on my own again.
I’m regaining the strength I once had to do everything I wanted.
I don’t check with myself to see IF I can do it; I just schedule a time to succeed.
I don’t echo your plan for me back to you. I inform you of my decisions. It’s different.
I was a caterpillar for so long and you were my protective cocoon.
I almost died inside the hard shell you built around me to keep me safe from the world.
You did it for my own good while I struggled against you and pushed
And, for a time, I left you, hollow, discarded, and broken, waving in the wind.
I stretched out my wings without thinking about the carnage though.
I found the sunniest spot and I struggled and pushed and persevered.
Had you not held me so tight, I would have never wanted to escape the confines
Of you. Warm, suffocating, holding me securely and killing me all at once.
Leaving you was the beginning of my whole new world, my rebirth so to speak.
It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do that I did by my choice alone.
Leaving your protection, your safety, your arms, your heart…you.
And the way I miss all of that, the severity with which I miss it, is soul snatching.
My body reacts without my permission when I think about where I came from.
My eyes swell with tears that spring from various fountains within me: pride, pain, joy.
My chest heaves up and down as if my heart is threatening to find you without me.
My muscles tense and harden just wishing they could feel your hands on my skin again.
And my thoughts always refocus on one thing: I had to be strong for the both of us.
I did it for us. That thing you attempted, but could never seem to commit to just for you.
I couldn’t let myself die there, with you surrounding me for my own “good”, any more than
I wanted to kill you by letting you try to build a house in which neither of us would flourish.
When I look back on all of it. All of the love I unfairly demanded from you, but wouldn’t accept;
All of the love I threw at you, that I unknowingly smothered you with, that you reluctantly resisted;
All of the ways we pushed and pulled each other, trying to create enough distance for growth;
All of the passion that was always just beneath the surface of every exhausting interaction…
Damn it, my passion is still you, but it’s different now. You are a want and not a need.
Of course I can grow, thrive, survive, and even enjoy life without you by my side.
And I guess this piece is still somewhat about you, but it’s even more about me, because
At this moment, you are only in it because I choose to let you share my gaze.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Just A New Post
But It Can’t
Our forever has come and I'm too tired to even say goodbye,
So I'm waving to the wind, and hopefully it will reach you
With the understanding that I’ve loved you for you,
And you never bothered to discover who I really am.
We both know that I am solid,
But you fail to realize I'm also complete.
On my own, without you, I’ve managed to
Fill in my emptied nooks and crannies.
While I want to be the full piece that fits beside,
You're so used to being an empty woman’s center
That with my readjustment and growth,
You’re ready to let me go.
Perfection in your eyes is how you solve my problems
But for me, it's realizing you don't need a solution, just a complement.
Maybe that's the issue, you see all the ways I still need to be fixed
And I just want to add to you, because you're perfect in your existence.
And that's what I'd say to you if my heart could ever actually let go.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Our forever has come and I'm too tired to even say goodbye,
So I'm waving to the wind, and hopefully it will reach you
With the understanding that I’ve loved you for you,
And you never bothered to discover who I really am.
We both know that I am solid,
But you fail to realize I'm also complete.
On my own, without you, I’ve managed to
Fill in my emptied nooks and crannies.
While I want to be the full piece that fits beside,
You're so used to being an empty woman’s center
That with my readjustment and growth,
You’re ready to let me go.
Perfection in your eyes is how you solve my problems
But for me, it's realizing you don't need a solution, just a complement.
Maybe that's the issue, you see all the ways I still need to be fixed
And I just want to add to you, because you're perfect in your existence.
And that's what I'd say to you if my heart could ever actually let go.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Birthday Week Revelation
Rooted
Usually, when we have the more serious talks,
We don't really face one another.
It's like it takes all of the energy we possess
Just to put it all out there, to bear everything,
Like the effort to hold a gaze is too great.
So this time, instead of lying next to you,
Instead of snuggling into your arms,
Instead of hiding from love with my back turned,
I will greet it, honor it, face to face.
I'll show it that I deserve it this time.
So I'll perch atop your hips, my
Legs straddling your core and my
Hands resting on your chest while
I direct my eyes to meet yours, not in
A challenge, but in reverence of the following truths:
I make decisions daily to love you.
Whether you label it or not, I choose
To be where I know I belong: by your side.
As much as I've changed, my heart has
Remained adamant that you are its home.
Therefore I no longer fight; I surrender
And accept that it knows its place in this world.
I knew it all along, but wouldn't admit that
It only took vacations and never strayed...
Stayed away too long before being home sick for you.
And my voice may tremble and my hands may
Shake as I continue to explain how it
All fits together in my head. And it
May get a little heavier than you like,
But I promise not to leave all of it on you.
I'll simply leave a token of my love
Because it's what I've always tried to do.
It's important to me that you know and
Hear it...not just know because you know
Who I am growing to be, but I need to be able to say it.
The Japanese proverb says fall seven and rise eight,
So maybe we'll get it right this time and maybe not.
Some things I do know though: My place is with
You. My heart is with you. It's a choice I make
Continually, day after day, because even if I knew
The world was ending tomorrow,
I'd still plant my apple tree with you today.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Usually, when we have the more serious talks,
We don't really face one another.
It's like it takes all of the energy we possess
Just to put it all out there, to bear everything,
Like the effort to hold a gaze is too great.
So this time, instead of lying next to you,
Instead of snuggling into your arms,
Instead of hiding from love with my back turned,
I will greet it, honor it, face to face.
I'll show it that I deserve it this time.
So I'll perch atop your hips, my
Legs straddling your core and my
Hands resting on your chest while
I direct my eyes to meet yours, not in
A challenge, but in reverence of the following truths:
I make decisions daily to love you.
Whether you label it or not, I choose
To be where I know I belong: by your side.
As much as I've changed, my heart has
Remained adamant that you are its home.
Therefore I no longer fight; I surrender
And accept that it knows its place in this world.
I knew it all along, but wouldn't admit that
It only took vacations and never strayed...
Stayed away too long before being home sick for you.
And my voice may tremble and my hands may
Shake as I continue to explain how it
All fits together in my head. And it
May get a little heavier than you like,
But I promise not to leave all of it on you.
I'll simply leave a token of my love
Because it's what I've always tried to do.
It's important to me that you know and
Hear it...not just know because you know
Who I am growing to be, but I need to be able to say it.
The Japanese proverb says fall seven and rise eight,
So maybe we'll get it right this time and maybe not.
Some things I do know though: My place is with
You. My heart is with you. It's a choice I make
Continually, day after day, because even if I knew
The world was ending tomorrow,
I'd still plant my apple tree with you today.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
More National Poetry Month Pieces
Lock & Key
Did I make a mistake in loving you?
They say we learn from our mistakes
But every day, this is one I repeat.
I choose you over and over...you.
You are the key to so much
My heart, my ambition, myself.
A lock without a key is forever
Either opened or closed...out of order.
They key has the right combination
Of nooks and crannies to change
The lock as the need dictates.
Open to me. Secure my treasures.
You are the only one who's been
Able to slide into my chamber
And fit comfortably while still
Pushing and pulling. Changing me.
While my outside remained quite
Stagnant, you toyed with my
Inner workings, conforming them to
Your intricate design and rigidity.
I need you, want you, to open me
Up and twist my insides. Please?
Untitled
It kills me
(Laughably)
To see you beg
For the attention
You once threw
Away.
I hope you live
And learn to
Cherish what you have
When you have it;
Not waiting to see
That your grass
Used to be greener
Once you see it in
A different light
That also illuminates
The “Keep Off The
Grass” sign
Erected in your
“Honor”.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
From My National Poetry Month Writings
You, I, We
Yet and still
You are with me.
Never thought I'd do this
Without your comforting kiss
Yet and still
I am here.
They say distance makes
The heart feel quakes
Yet and still
We are solid.
When I was asked today
If I'd ever fall in love again...
Daily. With you.
Starting anew
Away from youYet and still
You are with me.
Never thought I'd do this
Without your comforting kiss
Yet and still
I am here.
They say distance makes
The heart feel quakes
Yet and still
We are solid.
When I was asked today
If I'd ever fall in love again...
Daily. With you.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Insomniac Poetry
The Truth of The Matter
If I was honest,
I couldn't count how many times
Within a day you crossed my mind,
Because the thought of you is like
A hamster on red bull
With a battery pack on its back
On a motorized Wheel...wings and all.
If I was honest,
You'd know my love for you
Has only grown and never waivered
Despite my unexplained need to
Diminish its ever expanding size
In efforts to not smother you
Like a plastic bag over your head.
If I was honest
Every time you touched me, I'd
Float away on the sheer strength
Of the butterflies that automatically
Take flight within my core
When your body casually brushes
Against mine in innocent connections.
If I were honest
About why I shy away from the simple
Contact more than I embrace it,
You'd probably sigh and mutter,
"This again? Really?" Before rolling
Your eyes and shaking your head.
If I were honest,
You would know how much you still
Inspire me to broaden my horizons
And chase my dreams with sincerity
While watching you grow on your own
And become more of the man you've
Always desired to be.
If I were honest...
Let's be honest...
I'm still in love with you.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
If I was honest,
I couldn't count how many times
Within a day you crossed my mind,
Because the thought of you is like
A hamster on red bull
With a battery pack on its back
On a motorized Wheel...wings and all.
If I was honest,
You'd know my love for you
Has only grown and never waivered
Despite my unexplained need to
Diminish its ever expanding size
In efforts to not smother you
Like a plastic bag over your head.
If I was honest
Every time you touched me, I'd
Float away on the sheer strength
Of the butterflies that automatically
Take flight within my core
When your body casually brushes
Against mine in innocent connections.
If I were honest
About why I shy away from the simple
Contact more than I embrace it,
You'd probably sigh and mutter,
"This again? Really?" Before rolling
Your eyes and shaking your head.
If I were honest,
You would know how much you still
Inspire me to broaden my horizons
And chase my dreams with sincerity
While watching you grow on your own
And become more of the man you've
Always desired to be.
If I were honest...
Let's be honest...
I'm still in love with you.
Copyright © 2015 Natasha Guy
Monday, December 1, 2014
I Was In My Feels About A Man I Loved
Proposition
If I could do
It all, no consequences,
You would always smile.
My voice would send chills
Down your spine and curl your toes
With sweet memories.
If I could give you
Your heart's desires and still be
happy with us...sigh.
I repeatedly
Tried to figure it all out.
How to defy odds.
It'd be perfect if
We loved in the same way,
But alas, we don't.
I can't finish your
Every thought and notion, but
I do understand.
I'm not as open as
Your wildest ideas,
But I'm devoted.
That counts for something.
I know it's not everything,
But I think maybe...
In a diff'rent world,
I could be enough for you
To want me the same.
When I close my eyes
And begin to dream the dreams,
You're still leading man.
Love, you occupy
My idea of perfection.
My subconscious knows.
Sometimes, I allow
Myself to wonder if you'll
ever see the same.
You have potential,
But don't want to fulfill it,
Together, with me
It wouldn't solve all
Your problems, but it'd soothe
Some of the turmoil.
I can't make for sure
Promises of forever,
But I would still try.
Tomorrow isn't
Guaranteed, but I would set
Every intention.
Surely, not easy,
But that doesn't mean it's not
Worth all that we've got.
What if we're not doomed?
Maybe just challenged. And I
Think we're both entitled.
Take my hand and trust
In the love we've created.
Please, believe in us.
Copyright © 2014 Natasha Guy
If I could do
It all, no consequences,
You would always smile.
My voice would send chills
Down your spine and curl your toes
With sweet memories.
If I could give you
Your heart's desires and still be
happy with us...sigh.
I repeatedly
Tried to figure it all out.
How to defy odds.
It'd be perfect if
We loved in the same way,
But alas, we don't.
I can't finish your
Every thought and notion, but
I do understand.
I'm not as open as
Your wildest ideas,
But I'm devoted.
That counts for something.
I know it's not everything,
But I think maybe...
In a diff'rent world,
I could be enough for you
To want me the same.
When I close my eyes
And begin to dream the dreams,
You're still leading man.
Love, you occupy
My idea of perfection.
My subconscious knows.
Sometimes, I allow
Myself to wonder if you'll
ever see the same.
You have potential,
But don't want to fulfill it,
Together, with me
It wouldn't solve all
Your problems, but it'd soothe
Some of the turmoil.
I can't make for sure
Promises of forever,
But I would still try.
Tomorrow isn't
Guaranteed, but I would set
Every intention.
Surely, not easy,
But that doesn't mean it's not
Worth all that we've got.
What if we're not doomed?
Maybe just challenged. And I
Think we're both entitled.
Take my hand and trust
In the love we've created.
Please, believe in us.
Copyright © 2014 Natasha Guy
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
New Muse Acquired!
The Gateway to Wonderland
You sit there,
Situated carefully,
On the side
Of a rabbit hole.
Your legs dangle freely
Into the dark abyss
Which swallows the soles
Of your feet.
Your mind fills
With intrigue
About the depth and
Wonders held within.
Be careful, my inquisitive mate.
There is no bottom to catch you.
You will never stop falling.
And I don’t own a catcher’s mitt.
So you balance,
Perched thoughtfully
Upon the edge
Of the rabbit hole.
You contemplate
Whether or not your fears
Are composed of
Justified precautions.
Is your curiosity
Strong enough
To protect you during
Your descent?
We all consider chasing
After the cream colored
Rabbit rumored to live
Among the mystery.
And, you ponder while seated,
Lost in your thoughts,
Upon the rim
Of my rabbit hole.
The unknown held
Within the confines
Of the walls
Tempts you.
The pull is strong,
But you are not yet ready
To throw your reservations
Down the hole ahead of you.
Curious.
Scared.
Turned on.
The Tri-fecta.
You see, I refuse
To lie to you,
Or anyone really,
About anything
Pertaining to my
Dwelling place.
This unique space
That currently lies
Within your reach
Is one with which
I’m quite familiar and,
Of which, I am fond.
All of the colors
You may see
When you choose
The experience
Cannot be explained,
Only witnessed.
The smells and tastes
That hang in equal tandem
Upon your most sensitive
Receptors are often times
Incomparable to your
Previous involvement.
And the sensations
Grip and pull at every inch
Of your submerged
Skin, teasing it, causing
A rising reaction to occur in
Salutation to the aggressors.
I cannot properly explain
What you will or will not hear.
As those who’ve come before
You have heard everything from
Silent, open-mouthed screams to
Growls and purrs of satisfaction.
All of that to say:
Nothing can prepare you,
Not my invitation or my warning.
The adventure begins with a choice.
So tell me, have you settled on
What will your decision be?
Copyright © 2014 Natasha Guy
You sit there,
Situated carefully,
On the side
Of a rabbit hole.
Your legs dangle freely
Into the dark abyss
Which swallows the soles
Of your feet.
Your mind fills
With intrigue
About the depth and
Wonders held within.
Be careful, my inquisitive mate.
There is no bottom to catch you.
You will never stop falling.
And I don’t own a catcher’s mitt.
So you balance,
Perched thoughtfully
Upon the edge
Of the rabbit hole.
You contemplate
Whether or not your fears
Are composed of
Justified precautions.
Is your curiosity
Strong enough
To protect you during
Your descent?
We all consider chasing
After the cream colored
Rabbit rumored to live
Among the mystery.
And, you ponder while seated,
Lost in your thoughts,
Upon the rim
Of my rabbit hole.
The unknown held
Within the confines
Of the walls
Tempts you.
The pull is strong,
But you are not yet ready
To throw your reservations
Down the hole ahead of you.
Curious.
Scared.
Turned on.
The Tri-fecta.
You see, I refuse
To lie to you,
Or anyone really,
About anything
Pertaining to my
Dwelling place.
This unique space
That currently lies
Within your reach
Is one with which
I’m quite familiar and,
Of which, I am fond.
All of the colors
You may see
When you choose
The experience
Cannot be explained,
Only witnessed.
The smells and tastes
That hang in equal tandem
Upon your most sensitive
Receptors are often times
Incomparable to your
Previous involvement.
And the sensations
Grip and pull at every inch
Of your submerged
Skin, teasing it, causing
A rising reaction to occur in
Salutation to the aggressors.
I cannot properly explain
What you will or will not hear.
As those who’ve come before
You have heard everything from
Silent, open-mouthed screams to
Growls and purrs of satisfaction.
All of that to say:
Nothing can prepare you,
Not my invitation or my warning.
The adventure begins with a choice.
So tell me, have you settled on
What will your decision be?
Copyright © 2014 Natasha Guy
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
New Author Alert!
My dear friend Dominque Pollard has released her first book of poetry, Closed Mind: Open Heart...And All That Dangles In Between. You can purchase it here on createspace. Please welcome her into your bookcases as you did when I released my first book a few years ago. She's definitely worth the read! Congrats Ms. Pollard!
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